Ten Foods To Avoid After Labor Day

Fashion rules that everybody is aware of, even us regular people, are few and far between. Don’t wear black shoes with a brown belt. Don’t wear a red shirt when shopping at Target. And perhaps the most important, never ever wear white after Labor Day.

But why? It’s an outdated and arbitrary rule, cooked up in stuffy eighteenth century England. Today more and more people are throwing caution to the fashion wind and wearing white after Labor Day. We here at EAT Club fully support you and your choices, but we wanted to offer some advice. If you’re going to wear white after Labor Day, here are Ten Foods To Avoid After Labor Day.

1 – Spaghetti.  Avoid spaghetti with red sauce. If it’s alfredo, go wild.

2 – Red Wine.  To be safe avoid both the beverage and the UB40 song.

3 – Ketchup.  Goes without saying.

4 – Ketchup Popsicles.  Do not buy these, even if a very confident salesperson tries to persuade you otherwise.

5 – Beets.  Too slippery. These aren’t the kind of beets you’re supposed to drop.

6 – Chocolate Fountains.  Shouldn’t be hard unless you’re that kid from Willy Wonka.

7 – Octopus Ink Sacs.  A rare Greek dish where ink sacs are boiled, deep fried, and then thrown at your mouth.

8 – Raw Buffalo Aorta.  This main blood-transporting artery is dangerous even when cooked, so eating it raw could result in a mess worthy of the third act of a Tarantino film.

9 – Pennzoil Gushers.  Chewy candy filled with a dangerously explosive combination of fruit juice and Pennzoil motor oil.

10 – Sharpie Juice.  Fresh-squeezed juice made from Sharpie brand permanent markers. High in both Vitamin C and whatever vitamin makes stains hard to get out.

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